You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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