Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
