You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
