haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
