batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize