Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
