So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
