Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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