whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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