Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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