Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
