My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
