allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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