If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
