were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
and she was petting her beer can
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
