You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
