You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
