So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
