Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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