Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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