I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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