It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
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i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
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I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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