break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
