my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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