i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
