Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize