Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
This is classic penis vs brain.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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