NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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