Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This baby is an asshole
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
