Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
