i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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