Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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