I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
