so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
