We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
