i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
