But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
