you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
