My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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