Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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