you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
