I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
