someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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