Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
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Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
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I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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