I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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