So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
