Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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