im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
