Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
P.S. I can't hear my feet
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
