Too much gin, very little bucket
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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