38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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