Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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