...so i touched it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
