the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize