Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
