I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
