Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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