My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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