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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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